I'm a Consulting Defective

3x02: A Summary

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 23:11:45 -0700

3x02: A Summary

imderekhaleandmyfamilyisdead: i don’t know why people expect me to be some responsible person who...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 21:21:50 -0700

i don’t know why people expect me to be some responsible person who is capable of doing things correctly

i live in a condemned house in the middle of the woods

i once ate an uncooked hot pocket

i don’t even have car insurance

@tansytea (& friendsss) Attending my pity party in person (with cupcakes and booze)would be...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 16:13:38 -0700

@tansytea (& friendsss)
Attending my pity party in person (with cupcakes and booze)would be best, but in spirit is pretty good too. <3
I might just rewatch the new teen wolf and thank whomever for sewing Derek into The Tightest Jeans Ever because B L E S S S S (_(_)

God though. Just springing a firing on me first thing mid-week out of nowhere?!! Shitty! Mad about...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 15:31:37 -0700

God though. Just springing a firing on me first thing mid-week out of nowhere?!! Shitty! Mad about it

Plus like…I thought we were friends (but then I generally interpret begrudging tolerance as friendship, so).

But, Like, yesterday you were laughing at my jokes and taking pictures of me with your dog (in our matching sweatshirts)!
You said You’d sell my glass animal collection!

Like being hit by an invisible truck.

(I’m allowed to wallow in self pity for a least a day right?)

But my mom was giving me ultimatums before I made it through the door. (don’t I deserve some sympathy?)

It was so naive of me to forget life lesson #1: never, under any circumstances, trust anyone or anything.

Sooo I got laid off this morningg which was awesomee Woo like almost 4 months of employment...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 12:25:48 -0700

Sooo I got laid off this morningg which was awesomee

Woo like almost 4 months of employment that’s a new record

Robin lost his lil eggs

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:53:24 -0700

Robin lost his lil eggs

Today a new woman came into the office to train and A s k e d I f. I w a s my o t h e r...

Thu, 16 May 2013 21:47:11 -0700

Today a new woman came into the office to train and
A s k e d I f. I w a s my o t h e r coworker’s D a u gh. T e r

DaUghTer

She’s like mayyybe ten years older than me.

I just. What the fuck?
I just want people to take me seriouslyyyy

When 2become1

Sun, 12 May 2013 16:21:53 -0700

When 2become1

Two pups one bed

Sun, 12 May 2013 16:16:42 -0700

Two pups one bed

Also: my boss recently found out my age and was STUNNED. Like, he said he knew what year I graduated...

Sun, 05 May 2013 22:02:20 -0700

Also: my boss recently found out my age and was STUNNED.

Like, he said he knew what year I graduated college (from my resume) but he just ASSUMED I had graduated like 3 or 4 yrs early. Literally. It made more sense to him that I had somehow graduated college 4 years early than me being 23.

How young do you have to look/act for that to happen???

(Also i miss you guys mwah mwah mwah)

Sun, 05 May 2013 21:45:27 -0700

(Also i miss you guys mwah mwah mwah)

GRRrrrrobin Today, not only did he embarrass me in obedience class (for which, I got up early on a...

Sun, 05 May 2013 21:43:20 -0700

GRRrrrrobin

Today, not only did he embarrass me in obedience class (for which, I got up early on a goddamn Sunday and left the house)

but ALSO, after I took him outside to potty for the bagilionth time, and after minutes of cajoling, he just saunters over and lifts his goddamn leg to literally pee on me.

~update~ Yesterday my work hired an older woman who was chatty and enthusiastic and aggressive and...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 19:44:27 -0700

~update~

Yesterday my work hired an older woman who was chatty and enthusiastic and aggressive and basically gunning for my job. It sucked.
Today, we let her go by consensus (after she argued and pleaded for about 3 hours). <333333 I was so relieved. They picked me over the squeakiest wheel that ever squeaked. Also I actually do work instead of just talking about how much work I do.
I have a throbbing black eye from running into a pillar on Saturday. With my face.
Me and a coworker are working on “upcycling” cheap jewelry by painting it etc.

I’ve done it. I’ve seen ever cyst video on the Internet. I have no reason to go on....

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 21:09:52 -0700

I’ve done it. I’ve seen ever cyst video on the Internet. I have no reason to go on.

For I have known them all already, known them all; have known the canine, pilonidal, dermoid; I know the abscesses, ingrowns, mrsas, dying with a bloody show….

I have measured out my life in comedones.

……………….

I should have been a pair of steel claws scuttling across the skins of silent beasts.

stilinski parallels

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 22:35:07 -0700

stilinski parallels

I was doing laundry, because that’s what adults do and I am an adult, and I thought, hey,...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 21:53:36 -0700

I was doing laundry, because that’s what adults do and I am an adult, and I thought, hey, I’ll throw my pillow cases in with this load of Laundry That I’m Doing Because Whoa Dfream Big Clean Cloths of Various Types

But then, after I put that load in the dryer (Immediately—not five days later!!), I noticed my limp pillowcases impotently sitting in an ineffectual pile on my crumby goddamn bed.

It’s always fucking one step forward two steps back isn’t it. But perhaps it’s only one step back because clearly two steps in a task is one step too many and math is something I can do and so is stagnating.

But my other coworker gave me an ET pin so that was cool. I’d post a pic but apparently the...

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 20:04:25 -0700

But my other coworker gave me an ET pin so that was cool.
I’d post a pic but apparently the ap no longer does the literally only thing it was useful for: posting pics straight from your phone. Ridiculous.

Today at work one of my coworkers referred to something bad as “retarded” (the second...

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 20:01:40 -0700

Today at work one of my coworkers referred to something bad as “retarded” (the second person to do this, actually) AND literally minutes later referred to himself as “disabled” bc he has fucking back pain or something.

I do feel kinda validated by the unsustainability of my current situation as evinced by my...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 20:42:30 -0700

I do feel kinda validated by the unsustainability of my current situation as evinced by my exhaustion. Because I Knew. I Knew in junior and high school but especially in college that I could not both do school/work/basic self care and also do Talking. I literally didn’t speak for months in college and while that’s prob not healthy and it sucked to have no friends (plus very poor participation grades) I can on some level appreciate that it wasn’t just fear or laziness it was a compromise I felt I had to make because I’m me.
But to do okay professionally Not Talking ceases to be an option and welp guess I’m gonna live at home forever bc I can’t manage it and also feed myself.

I’m so tired. I’m so fucking tired. I can’t read. I can’t think. I came home...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 20:27:21 -0700

I’m so tired. I’m so fucking tired. I can’t read. I can’t think. I came home and sat in front of a Mary Kate and Ashley movie—the entire thing!—like a fucking zombie.

Objectively my job is great. It’s not hard my coworkers are nice etc but fuucckk just having to interact with people for so many hours and trying so fucking hard to be friendly and not too weird drains me. I’m sleeping fine and everything, I just feel like my brain has been sucked out and replaced with oatmeal. I miss tumblr and you guys and and also being able to make thoughts but whelp muneyss I guess right